What The Ghost Remembers

The morning after I killed myself
My mother was awake at 3 am
Like she always is.
She never had a premonition.
Only noticed she couldn’t feel the rocks
In her chest
Like she weighed about 150lbs
Lighter.
Smiled at a sunless sky
And fed her dog.
Drank sweet coffee
And left for work
Early.

The morning after I killed myself
My father stopped and looked outside
The window of his quiet apartment
Searching for a handprint memory
To frame.
When I didn’t answer his phone call
He sent me an email
And left a message
To end of my voice.

I want to think they must have known
But living and dying
Are such ordinary
Things.

-Melissa Rose